During this Pandemic, we have heard and read stories and experiences of many good men and women who have gone through the process of Conversion. A change of heart can always come at any point and juncture of our human lives, provided we are able to take up the call and sincerely go about mending and repairing our Lives according to the plan and will of God. To Live a Gospel way of Life has been a daunting task and challenge, which has always demanded a total conversion. People during this pandemic have experienced a personal conversion to the Lord, not just because of the disease and the fear of death but the time that was needed and required by the person to listen to God’s voice and to one’s inner voice. There were many issues and problems that were buried deep down, had a lot of negative effects on ourselves, and on our relationship with others, But we just went along with the current and running after false hopes. The end result was a spiritual and emotional crisis. Break of marriage vows and even running away for the commitment made to the Lord. This pandemic has given a big gift of time for us to know who we were and what was is wrong that leads to our loneliness and create misunderstanding. Those wounds and heavy languages we were carrying for years had to be touched and seen from a close quarter. Many who did it, we're able to go through the real conversion.
St. Francis had a similar kind of experience in his youth, running after his dreams and goals, trying to enjoy with the friends all the niceties of life, a kind of aimless life. For him, conversions were a response to the call of God which he heard internally and externally. A call to first repair and mend his lifestyle so that God could prepare him to serve the Master and not the servant. This conversion is a gradual realization process that led Francis to surrender totally to the Lord to be a new person with a new vision and relationships with everyone around him. We know from his life that he chose the Lord, without realizing the surrender and sacrifices would be required of him like his home, family, friends, his former lifestyle, self-image, vibrant, radiant youth, the darling of the townsmen of Assisi.
We have to go through what Francis went through in order to be an instrument of peace, joy, and relationships. He willingly came forward to surrender everything to the Lord. He at first wandered around hills, valleys, and caves…he was in total confusion until he bowed before the Crucifix at San Damiano. We have to bow down before the mighty lord when there is confusion and disorder when we are enveloped in darkness. Like Francis we need to hear the voice of the Lord: Francis, go and repair my Church which is falling in ruins. He had to do something…proud of his achievements.
But he realized that no one came to those churches. He had to build the church within him and the people, the church of God. He had to strip himself. He stripped himself of his Armor to the poor knight, his clothes to the beggar in Rome, and final stripping before his father Bernadone. Only God takes control of his life, no one and nothing else, no others opinion, not pain and illness, no hunger, ridicule, and rejection… only God. He referred to himself as a great sinner and rejoiced that God could still use him. He was a loved sinned...a creation of God, though soiled, yet a good creation loved by God. Every incident in his life becomes a source of the grace of his conversion.
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