The
following reflection on trust is from my reading several books and articles,
which I would like to share with you, so that we can celebrate Lent in a
meaningful way. Christian spirituality tells us that Jesus, the trustworthy Son
of the Father, followed what He was asked – to suffer and die on the cross, so
that he may rise gloriously and win us salvation. History tells us that trust
has played a big role in holding individuals and societies together in time of
crisis and difficulties.
Down
the centuries human beings have understood that trust is essential for
harmonious living and the building of a just society. All the spiritual Gurus
call us to trust ourselves in order to function and act well in our given
situation. In order to know what fraternal life, love and friendship is we need
to trust one another. To function happily and productively as friars, we need
to cultivate and build trust. We are dependent creatures on earth and we have
no choice but to trust those with whom we live and communicate. If the friars
with whom we live are well provided the necessary things and treated with
respect and love, trust becomes part and parcel of our lives.
Sometimes,
when we wonder why so and so are not able to trust in another, it is because
one is denied human warmth, one has met constant frustrations and neglect in
the process of growth. They grow to be suspicious, insecure persons, unable to
trust anything or anyone. Erik Erikson, in his influential book of half century
ago, CHILDHOOD AND SOCIETY, speaks of developing a sense of trust as "the
first task of the ego." Our capacity for all the other elements of a
healthy and happy life—described by Erikson as autonomy, initiative, industry,
identity, intimacy and integrity—depends first on our trusting both ourselves
and others and the world in which we live.
One
thing we have to accept is that trust is enriched or diminished throughout our
lives by the personal, social, and natural events that are the substance of our
experience. It is not easy to trust because we live in an age where it is
perceived as a sign of weakness. In many countries, you literally cannot trust
the ground you walk on or the building you enter or the objects you pick up. No
one can trust a supposedly innocent car or bus or roadway or building—the other
side could blow it up or a suicide bomber could detonate him and you. There are
people who are having flying phobia because you can not trust what will happen
to your plane.
Our
leaders are abusing the trust of the citizens. They lie in every situation and
take citizens for a ride. Today, we are finding difficult to trust in the
government because of the policies which are anti-citizen. The events that take
place around us make it harder for all of us to trust people in positions of
authority. There are lies all around us in every field where trust is hard to
find. There are films and soap operas, which tell us that we should trust no
one. It has always been hard to trust because the one who trusted experiences
hurt of being cheated by the loved one.
Yes,
trust can make a fool of us, but trust is a better option than mistrust, for us
and for society. Blaming others for our failures tells the world we do not
trust ourselves. We hear that message a lot. Children blame parents because
they can't make anything of their lives. Parents blame their children for
holding them back from career advancement. Addicts blame any one but themselves
when things go wrong. Employees blame employers and employers blame employees
for low production, poor profit margin, and an atmosphere of bickering and
unhappiness. We must learn not to blame others for our failings. If we cannot
admit where we have gone astray, we cannot change or grow or realize our
capacities. Trusting ourselves enables us to do this. It is not easy, but it is
justified.
Each
of us is worthy of trust. Each of us can do remarkable things.
At
the heart of our faith is a deep trust in every person. We who proclaim this
faith have both the right and the responsibility to trust ourselves. The beginning of trust is in self-knowledge,
knowing where we are weak and knowing our potential for good. The beginning of
trust is in trusting ourselves. Openness is a second component of trust. If we
trust ourselves, then we can be open to others. We can reveal who we are, laugh
at our shortcomings, be willing to change and use our gifts. Trusting
ourselves, we can be open to who others are and learn from them rather than
hide behind walls of defensiveness. When we open ourselves to others, it is
then possible for them to do the same with us, and there is mutual benefit.
Countless numbers of us have learned this lesson if nowhere else then in
therapeutic or non-therapeutic groups built around common problems or common
interests. We share openly. We learn. We grow. We deepen our ability to trust.
Being
open to others can hurt us, but not to be open leads to despair, the worst of
all human conditions, hopeless, helpless, and miserable. Our Father and founder
St. Francis of Assisi, trusted the heavenly Father in such a way that led him
to experience Him as a merciful and forgiving Father. For Franciscan Capuchins,
Francis is an example in this journey of trust-based relationship. In Francis
we have a model of becoming adult, becoming mature, and becoming Christian. Through
his story, we rediscover the meaning of relationship in a community context.
Through the re-telling or the re-expression of his story the Franciscan
tradition again comes alive even though the re-telling is fraught with our own
"flawed experiences and in our own halting voice. In telling the
Franciscan story we pass on not only our Franciscan Capuchin tradition but
ourselves as well. In telling our story, we only hope to be touched again: to
try to feel what Francis felt as his dream became a reality in his first
followers. Trust is what we need, not despair. Opening ourselves to others so
that we can give to and receive from them is a necessary part of the process of
trust. Trust sometimes asks of us that we pretend not to notice when words are
spoken that are hurtful. Trust asks that we just ignore some gestures that pain
us. Some things are not worth getting upset about, and by remaining
even-tempered in the face of provocation we can sustain and strengthen a bond
of trust. It is always better to return trust for betrayal whenever we can.
Sometimes doing so can have a transformative effect on the other person.
Trust
is essential to human life because trust is necessary for the community to even
exist, and without community no individual could long exist. Trust is "a
social good to be protected just as much as the air we breathe or the water we
drink." Those individuals, those activities, those institutions that
nurture and extend trust deserve our support. Those which breed mistrust we must
work to change. It is not always easy to trust. The times are hard and human
nature is imperfect.
For
any province trust is one of the most important elements to take on new
responsibility and challenge, role and journey, which will make all of us, better
sons of Francis. All committed friars to
give lead in this area of our Franciscan Capuchin Life. May we be richly
rewarded for being Friars who have the boldness to trust? Patanjali says, “When
a gifted team dedicates itself to unselfish trust and combines instinct with
boldness and effort, it is ready to climb.” One of the most visible signs of a
team’s success is the extent to which it builds trust among team members. Whether
teams are large or small, virtual or under the same roof, trusting teams have
inherent advantages not found in teams with a low level of trust. What makes a
trusting team? Exchange of ideas, show enthusiasm about the ministry of the
members, enhance your communication through use of modern technology, have
regular communication, receive and give timely feedback and take initiatives to
offer solutions.
As
Franciscan Capuchins move towards the future with trust in the ever-creative
presence of God and our brothers, and as dedicated and committed sons of
Francis seek to mature in trust and faith, which will lead us to hope. As the Exodus event was a time of
reinterpreting the past for the Israelites so they could move forward with new
images of their relationship with God and each other, the Church today
continues to reevaluate and renew itself. Just as Francis of Assisi refined and
redefined the Order to respond to his own situation before God, so we also
respond to the promptings of the Holy Spirit in our own day and age.
Difficulties will arise; yet, as Francis assured us, Christ journeys with us
always.
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