Wednesday, June 3, 2015

Time to trust in the Lord and one another



The following reflection on trust is from my reading several books and articles, which I would like to share with you, so that we can celebrate Lent in a meaningful way. Christian spirituality tells us that Jesus, the trustworthy Son of the Father, followed what He was asked – to suffer and die on the cross, so that he may rise gloriously and win us salvation. History tells us that trust has played a big role in holding individuals and societies together in time of crisis and difficulties.

Down the centuries human beings have understood that trust is essential for harmonious living and the building of a just society. All the spiritual Gurus call us to trust ourselves in order to function and act well in our given situation. In order to know what fraternal life, love and friendship is we need to trust one another. To function happily and productively as friars, we need to cultivate and build trust. We are dependent creatures on earth and we have no choice but to trust those with whom we live and communicate. If the friars with whom we live are well provided the necessary things and treated with respect and love, trust becomes part and parcel of our lives.

Sometimes, when we wonder why so and so are not able to trust in another, it is because one is denied human warmth, one has met constant frustrations and neglect in the process of growth. They grow to be suspicious, insecure persons, unable to trust anything or anyone. Erik Erikson, in his influential book of half century ago, CHILDHOOD AND SOCIETY, speaks of developing a sense of trust as "the first task of the ego." Our capacity for all the other elements of a healthy and happy life—described by Erikson as autonomy, initiative, industry, identity, intimacy and integrity—depends first on our trusting both ourselves and others and the world in which we live.

One thing we have to accept is that trust is enriched or diminished throughout our lives by the personal, social, and natural events that are the substance of our experience. It is not easy to trust because we live in an age where it is perceived as a sign of weakness. In many countries, you literally cannot trust the ground you walk on or the building you enter or the objects you pick up. No one can trust a supposedly innocent car or bus or roadway or building—the other side could blow it up or a suicide bomber could detonate him and you. There are people who are having flying phobia because you can not trust what will happen to your plane.

Our leaders are abusing the trust of the citizens. They lie in every situation and take citizens for a ride. Today, we are finding difficult to trust in the government because of the policies which are anti-citizen. The events that take place around us make it harder for all of us to trust people in positions of authority. There are lies all around us in every field where trust is hard to find. There are films and soap operas, which tell us that we should trust no one. It has always been hard to trust because the one who trusted experiences hurt of being cheated by the loved one.

Yes, trust can make a fool of us, but trust is a better option than mistrust, for us and for society. Blaming others for our failures tells the world we do not trust ourselves. We hear that message a lot. Children blame parents because they can't make anything of their lives. Parents blame their children for holding them back from career advancement. Addicts blame any one but themselves when things go wrong. Employees blame employers and employers blame employees for low production, poor profit margin, and an atmosphere of bickering and unhappiness. We must learn not to blame others for our failings. If we cannot admit where we have gone astray, we cannot change or grow or realize our capacities. Trusting ourselves enables us to do this. It is not easy, but it is justified.
Each of us is worthy of trust. Each of us can do remarkable things.

At the heart of our faith is a deep trust in every person. We who proclaim this faith have both the right and the responsibility to trust ourselves.  The beginning of trust is in self-knowledge, knowing where we are weak and knowing our potential for good. The beginning of trust is in trusting ourselves. Openness is a second component of trust. If we trust ourselves, then we can be open to others. We can reveal who we are, laugh at our shortcomings, be willing to change and use our gifts. Trusting ourselves, we can be open to who others are and learn from them rather than hide behind walls of defensiveness. When we open ourselves to others, it is then possible for them to do the same with us, and there is mutual benefit. Countless numbers of us have learned this lesson if nowhere else then in therapeutic or non-therapeutic groups built around common problems or common interests. We share openly. We learn. We grow. We deepen our ability to trust.

Being open to others can hurt us, but not to be open leads to despair, the worst of all human conditions, hopeless, helpless, and miserable. Our Father and founder St. Francis of Assisi, trusted the heavenly Father in such a way that led him to experience Him as a merciful and forgiving Father. For Franciscan Capuchins, Francis is an example in this journey of trust-based relationship. In Francis we have a model of becoming adult, becoming mature, and becoming Christian. Through his story, we rediscover the meaning of relationship in a community context. Through the re-telling or the re-expression of his story the Franciscan tradition again comes alive even though the re-telling is fraught with our own "flawed experiences and in our own halting voice. In telling the Franciscan story we pass on not only our Franciscan Capuchin tradition but ourselves as well. In telling our story, we only hope to be touched again: to try to feel what Francis felt as his dream became a reality in his first followers. Trust is what we need, not despair. Opening ourselves to others so that we can give to and receive from them is a necessary part of the process of trust. Trust sometimes asks of us that we pretend not to notice when words are spoken that are hurtful. Trust asks that we just ignore some gestures that pain us. Some things are not worth getting upset about, and by remaining even-tempered in the face of provocation we can sustain and strengthen a bond of trust. It is always better to return trust for betrayal whenever we can. Sometimes doing so can have a transformative effect on the other person.

Trust is essential to human life because trust is necessary for the community to even exist, and without community no individual could long exist. Trust is "a social good to be protected just as much as the air we breathe or the water we drink." Those individuals, those activities, those institutions that nurture and extend trust deserve our support. Those which breed mistrust we must work to change. It is not always easy to trust. The times are hard and human nature is imperfect.

For any province trust is one of the most important elements to take on new responsibility and challenge, role and journey, which will make all of us, better sons of Francis.  All committed friars to give lead in this area of our Franciscan Capuchin Life. May we be richly rewarded for being Friars who have the boldness to trust? Patanjali says, “When a gifted team dedicates itself to unselfish trust and combines instinct with boldness and effort, it is ready to climb.” One of the most visible signs of a team’s success is the extent to which it builds trust among team members. Whether teams are large or small, virtual or under the same roof, trusting teams have inherent advantages not found in teams with a low level of trust. What makes a trusting team? Exchange of ideas, show enthusiasm about the ministry of the members, enhance your communication through use of modern technology, have regular communication, receive and give timely feedback and take initiatives to offer solutions.


As Franciscan Capuchins move towards the future with trust in the ever-creative presence of God and our brothers, and as dedicated and committed sons of Francis seek to mature in trust and faith, which will lead us to hope.  As the Exodus event was a time of reinterpreting the past for the Israelites so they could move forward with new images of their relationship with God and each other, the Church today continues to reevaluate and renew itself. Just as Francis of Assisi refined and redefined the Order to respond to his own situation before God, so we also respond to the promptings of the Holy Spirit in our own day and age. Difficulties will arise; yet, as Francis assured us, Christ journeys with us always.

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